| Life can be a joyful ride. It has many ups and downs. | | | | being a door mat. That is what I was projecting and I |
| There seems to be a couple of universal speed | | | | attracted strong personalities that used guilt techniques |
| bumps. They are money and relationships, two | | | | to interact and control me. As long as I accepted guilt, |
| important things that have huge effect on our | | | | people used it. |
| perception of our ride through life. In relationships, a | | | | We teach people how to treat us by what we project. |
| tough concept for some is that we teach people how | | | | When I was in my twenties, I started taking horse back |
| to treat us. Some of you are saying, "right on, sister, I | | | | riding lessons. I had always wanted to learn to ride. In |
| believe that!" Some of you are saying, "that can't | | | | my lessons, I always wanted to ride "Snickers", a |
| possible be true!" | | | | buckskin, who was easy to ride. She always did what I |
| Let me give you an example. We teach people how | | | | wanted and my riding experience was fun. My |
| to treat us by what we are willing to accept from | | | | instructor always made me ride Casper. He was a |
| them. You have probably heard the old saying, "he/she | | | | white horse with mind of his own. When I had a lesson |
| was born with a silver spoon in their mouth". Mine was | | | | riding him, I had to work. I came to realize that when I |
| a different upbringing. I was born with a "guilt spoon in | | | | projected confidence and made him do what I wanted, |
| my mouth." | | | | my riding lesson became more fun and I learned more. |
| Guilt is a very powerful manipulation tool. It is very | | | | I grew to enjoy the challenge he presented. I realized |
| effective way to get what you want. It is, also, a very | | | | that life and relationships, we attract the situations and |
| under handed tool that scars both the user and the | | | | the people that put us out of our comfort zone to |
| recipient. When I learned that I am responsible for my | | | | learn from it. |
| own life, I believed it. I didn't bat an eye at the concept | | | | When a relationship is a challenge for me, I ask myself, |
| that I create all the things I wasn't happy with in my life. | | | | what am I projecting? What am I accepting from that |
| What was more difficult, for me, was taking credit for | | | | person that is making the relationship less fulfilling? |
| the good things. | | | | Why am I attracting that? What do I need to learn |
| Being raised with the idea that everything that | | | | from this particular relationships. The biggest question I |
| happened bad in our household was my fault led to | | | | ask myself, is this relationship worth working through |
| my feelings of inadequacy, depression, and of course | | | | the challenges? |
| that familiar feeling, guilt. This led to my feelings of | | | | |